The Creative Act

(Callas could not sleep, called Bruna and they talked and talked.Bruna her maid sits at the foot of the bed and writes in a crapbook ).

Callas: Cara,let us do some writing… do you remember our years with Titta? I worked like a horse.A tough businessman, was he not?

Bruna:Oui, et il est devenu riche a vos depens!

Callas:C’est la vie!Les hommes sont tous des cochons!… Bruna,write down…The Meneghini Years…the greatest of my career, let me think…victory after victory and triumph !…… all Opera houses have surrendered.The world of Opera was at my feet.Contracts were pouring in,but the greatest singer in the world slep alone.Titta and I have separate bedrooms , for some time now, and rarely talked except about contracts and money.I worked lke a horse and lost my voice ,and health.I was already the greatest of my time and in a few years,after my retirement, acknowledged as the greatest in the history of music.

…Mother…she was a terrible woman,very unhappy with Dad … was as a manipulator,she likes to pull and push, like all frustrated women.Father had his pharmacy, and in his spare time was busy with other women.His wife was a failure, had no talent and was not that beautiful.He dumbed her!It served her right!
My sister Jackie was charming,pretty but weak.Mother pushed her into Milton’s arms because he was rich,very rick, Milton of the Embiricos dynasty. She had no ambition,no real talent in anything,like the other woman, the other Jackie.
I had the grace of an elephant but had talent and dreams. I was obsessed with my voice….No one could take that away from me.I had the certainty , the conviction of my own greatness.I shall be Maria Callas and will be on top of the world.

…Ari and I were to be married in London.I shall have a ring and people will stop talking.I will be the second Madame Onassis, a worthy successor of Tina Livanos Onassis.I will no longer be a concubine or his mistress.We booked a suite at the Claridge,and the night before we married, walked in and saw them,Ari and two high class call girls in bed! He did it on purpose, a set up.He never intended to marry me,it was only a game!So cruel!!That night I flew back to Paris, alone!

…I sang with Renato Ciotti at Covent Garden,not the best tenor in the world but surely one of the sexiest.I would not have minded a fling with him, it hurts like hell not to have him.

“Dance as though no one is watching you
Love as though you have never been hurt before
Sing as though no one can hear you
Live as though heaven is on earth ”

I sang like no other human has sung before, or after..Then I lost my voice.I was thirty seven.I wanted to die.

This piece is inspired by, adapted from Strindberg’s Dance of Death.

scene 1

Onassis:Play for me,won’t you

Callas:(eager to please)What shall I play ?

Onassis:What you like.

Callas:You don’t like classical music.

Ari: Play anything as long as you don’t sing!

Callas:(coughs nervously)…

Ari:You should not smoke,it’s not good for the voice.

Callas:I never smoke,would you like your drink ?
Ari:Make it double.

Maria mixed his scotch, a labour of love

Callas:Darling,you should not drink that much.

Onassis:Why not,I have never been sick in my life,I will live another fifty years.

Callas:That’s not what the doctor says.

Ari:The doctor! Who cares what he says.I am not sick and I never have been,and I’m never going to be,either.When my time comes,I am going to drop dead like a vaillant soldier.

Callas:Speaking of soldiers, I would love to do the Guns of Navarone.The more I think about it,the more I feel it’s a good part.

Onassis:Think? Feel?You!

Callas: It’s a small,but crucial part,it carries the action,and it’s the only female role.

Onassis:You can’t act, and you are not beautiful for the camera, nowhere near Garbo.

We were in August 1968, I was still the Mistress on the CHRISTINA…not for long, the wedding of the century was only two months away.

_” I love you but I need Jackie, I hope to marry her one day ,soon”…

The beast told me that, he knew that I was at his beck and call…why do we love men that destroy …That woman Jackie will open the doors for him, will do for him what she did for John when she was First Lady,bring prestige and class to him.Bobby Kennedy will be the next President and he will be the brother-in-law,imagine !…The bastard had it all planned…Seduite et abandonnee,that is what I was, like the movie.

THE MAGIC OF BERNSTEIN,VISCONTI AND CALLAS.!!!..FEBRUARY 1955 AT LA SCALLA

La Sonnambula was important because I loved Bellini and wanted to prove that I could do two parts that are so completely different..Norma and Amina,Bellini ’s most haunting bel canto opera…I did not want to do it the way Luchino wanted it.Amina,a Swiss peasant girl was a sleepwalker,Luchino wanted me to wear an all white costume a la Sylphide,and all my jewellery.

—Luchino ,it’s ridiculous, I am a village girl
—You are not a village girl,you are Maria Callas playing the part of a village girl,don’t ever forget it !

So we all wore white,and he taught me to move like a ballerina,like Giselle .I learned the fifth position and le port-de bras.The production became a classic and like Visconti ’s other productions, changed opera for ever.The fat Callas has become slim ,beautiful,and on stage I was small,fragile and moved with grace.For the sleepwalking scene,the stage was in total darkness except for the moon ,I walked across a broken bridge and almost fell to my death.How did I do it?… I stood still in the middle of the bridge,high up in the mountains,breathed in slowly and exhaled quickly,in the darkness I gave the illusion of falling.

For once the critics were impressed by my vocal brilliance, and the fact that I could sing both Bellini’s Norma and Amina. It was heaven to work with two geniuses…Entre les deux mon coeur balance…Jeanne Moreau ’s song…I had a crush for both men,but they were in love with each other.They met at La Scala ,had an affair,the meeting of two Titans,both geniuses in their own way.I knew it was love without hope for Luchino never hid the fact that he loved men,Lenny was more secretive but I knew.We were both Americans and working with him I was impressed by his enthusiasm,vitality and for the first time though seriously of going back to America.Next to him I felt energized ,proud to be American and dreamed two dreams,a career on both sides of the Atlantic.

When I lost my voice I wanted to die.I would never be Violetta again,I suffered so much for her,I lost weight for her,I fought with opera managers,directors,conductors to be her, to wear those gorgeous fin de siecle gowns,to be a courtisane, la belle du bal… I shall never be, act,play,sing Violetta the way I wanted,the way Verdi wanted .Every soprano dreams of Traviata.Violetta was my first love ,Norma my great one.I lost weight for Violetta and for Medea,to do justice to a courtisane and a Princess.With Norma I could get away with some body fat…Now it’s all over.

 I refused to sail for my South American tour without a ring, so we were married on 21 april 1949…I wish I had shown the same determination with Ari ten years later…in the small church of Chiesa del Filippini in Verona I became his wife,and the happiest woman on earth.I loved him, I really loved him and he loved me.We were happy.I did  not think anyone in the world could be happier.My career was in high gear, I met a man I loved and he will love me and protect me for the rest of my life, and was the protegee of the greatest living director.No one in his family showed up for the wedding,only his sister Pia, the other witnesses were Serafin and his wife and Pomari from the Agency.That was all.I sent a telegram to my parents in New York ,Siamo Sposati e Felici.On 22 april I boarded the American liner SS Argentina for Buenos Aires, for a two week sea voyage.I spent our honeymoon alone,lonely,seasick and in tears.

In Verona,I met a wealthy,successful businessman  twenty nine years older than I was,and we began dating.He was single,hard working , did not  have many interests except his work and opera. His universe was Verona and Venice,I don’t think he had been anywherere and nor wanted to.He loved his city and showed me around,the old churches,their graveyards , the pallazzos and piazzas and the  houses of Romeo and Juliet.Like everyone I thought that they  existed only in Shakespeare’s imagination.They were real , had lived and loved and died in that romantic city.The year was 1947 and there still was a shortage of gas so we walked and walked.I felt like Juliet and he was my Romeo.Titta was the first man who had ever showed a romantic interest in me and I fell in love.I was desperate,it was him or death.After Gioconda, no theatre manager wanted me,I was too fat,dressed like a gypsy,not Italian,my voice was too metallic,altogether a repulsive combination.I was unwanted,and they made me feel it.

 However destiny was waiting for me,for  Titta’s love and support  saved me, gave me the time to establish myself .There was de Hidalgo,and there will be Serafin and Visconti, but without Meneghini there would not have been a Callas.I had no money,was dead broke, had no work nor hope of work,nowhere to go,no friends or relatives in  after- war Italy.Because he loved me ,the way I was, fat,obese,poor, rejected by everyone,and believed in me that I became who I am.He paid for my food,hotel room and private coaching,without him I would not have survived.He did not take advantage of me, he supported me out of pity,from the goodness of his heart.And we became lovers because I wanted it,not because he forced me.

We  married in 1949, and Titta became my Manager until 1959,the year we separated.For ten years I was Maria Meneghini Callas,and proud of it.

APRIL 1968 …

– I love you but I need Jackie, I hope to marry her one day ,soon…

The beast told me that, he knew that I was at his beck and call…why do we love men that destroy us…Jackie will open the doors for the beast,hoped that she will do for him what she did for John when she was First Lady,bring prestige and class to his business,Bobby Kennedy will be the next President and he will be the brother-in-law,imagine !…the bastard had it all planned…Seduite And Abandonnee,that is what I am, like in the movie.

When I die I want to come back as Grace Kelly…I admire her … she was a talented actress who won an Oscar ,then romance and the wedding of the century with a prince, Rainier III…Her Serene Highness The Princess of Monaco,the jewel of her kingdom…she had everything that I did not ,a loving husband, his pride and joy,a happy family with beautiful children… I envy her.We met  many times when Ari and Prince Rainier were still in speaking terms and we became fast friends,I really loved her,we  had many things in common,we were ambitious,wanted a career,two working girls from America , full of hope and Grace ended up with everything.She had everything,beauty,talent and the world at her feet.

When I lost my voice I wanted to die, I was thirty seven…I would not sing Violetta again,I suffered so much for her,I lost weight to be her ,I fought with opera managers,directors,conductors to be her,to be a courtisane, la belle du bal,to wear those gorgeous fin de siecle gowns,… I shall never be, act,play,sing Violetta the way I wanted,the way Verdi wrote it.Every soprano dreams of her…giving up a role is like loosing a child,a part of yourself dies.Violetta was my first love…